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I slept 4 or 5 hours Monday night - got up at 8:30am Tuesday, slept again 11:30am - 1:30pm, slept again 7pm - 9:45pm. Then worked all night last night, and part of the morning, and so far Iapos;ve had a 2 hour nap today. I think my brain is just so confused, it isnapos;t really sure what it should be doing right now.

And after feeding the dog, taking out the trash (which included picking up the trash in the garage our wild denizens had redistributed), running the dishes (and experiencing a brief moment of panic when the dishwasher wouldnapos;t start - until I figured out the switch by the sink was flipped off), and teaching Annie how to get the recyclables in the bin, Iapos;m about ready to shower and nap again.

It amazes me how little I�used to get done when I was clean sober. I was so scatterbrained then - seriously, I zoned out all the damn time and wasted hours and hours just figuring out what I�needed to do - is it possible for the brain to simply fail to function well in the absence of toxins itapos;s become accustomed to? Sometimes I�wonder. I�know that information learned under the influence of a substance is better recalled under the influence - and difficult to recall without it. I�remember that from Psych 101. Hey, if it gives me an excuse to not give up my Pinot Noir, Iapos;m good with it.

Anyway, what I was getting to is: I PAID my lease Yippee I am STILL�an indentured servant to 343 And Yellow Cab

And, I still lack that gene that allows one to pretend they like people. Truly. This was driven home today when I�went to base and stopped by Kargboapos;s office for my $50 safe-driving incentive:

Me: "Hello Mr. Kargbo, I guess you know why Iapos;m here."
Kargbo: *fiddles with bag containing tie pins*
��������������� "Whatapos;s your driver id?"

So then he hands me my tie pin and my $50 dollar bill and says "Congratuilations."

Then, he wants to shake, so I throw the stuff on his desk to free my hand, shake, and as Iapos;m leaving, he pointedly says "Youapos;re welcome"

I didnapos;t say thank you. I�feel no gratitude towards this man. I donapos;t like him. He sets all of my bullshit meters off. So then I left. Without a word.

Then, when I got to the cashier office, Judy calls my number. While Iapos;m settling my lease she and Julia ask if I�got my bonus. I�inform them I�just gave it to them. When they finish laughing, I�also inform them that I�do still have my nifty tie-pin. Which is fortunate, because I�actually have a tie to use it with

At which point Julia, the woman who apparently just enjoys taunting me, announced that I must wear the tie the next time I�come to base. To which I protested "but, Iapos;d have to IRON a shirt" So she told me to wear it with a t-shirt. And I�said no. Iapos;ll iron the shirt. Why do women with NO follow-through insist on taunting me like this? It was the apos;pulling the tieapos; motion she did that did me in. I swear, Iapos;m ready to tell her to stop teasing the lesbian. It just ainapos;t fair. Hell, if sheapos;d just make-out with me once, Iapos;d prolly get over it.

So on Wednesday morning Iapos;ll show up with my skull-tie with my S3 pin - Safety-Service-Success. God, how lame is that shit? Bot the pin, and my willingness to jump through hoops when I get absolutely nothing out of it.

Why do I always fall for women who are just fucking with me? No, donapos;t answer that - I�already know. This is why I�donapos;t date anymore. Thank goddess for booze and blood-pressure meds. Celibacy would be much harder without it.

I sleep soon. And work. And sleep. And work. Shoot me now.
Please.


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